tuesday...14 march...2000

I am almost mortified to admit this. Almost.

Guess what's in my freezer, right at this very moment?

Five, yes, five whole pints of Jeremy's Microbatch Tiramisu. Five and a half, actually.

Now, to my credit, I only actually purchased four of them yesterday. If you'll remember the last time I talked about them, I went out the next day and bought three of them, all the store had left.

I'm frankly amazed at this myself, but since that time, almost three weeks ago, I've only managed to put away a pint and a half. That's because every night, I stand at the freezer with a tablespoon, open up the lid, take two heavenly mouthfuls, and put it back.

It's my fix. It's all I need. I'm afraid that if I remove it from the freezer, or even close the freezer door while I'm eating it, I'll devour the entire pint, and then it will lose its mystique.

But like the ice cream junkie that I am, I am desperately afraid that it will disappear. It says right on the label that it's a limited edition and could vanish from my store freezer at any moment.

So, when I went to the store yesterday, I bought four more pints.

It wasn't all they had. I would have been way too embarrassed to buy them all at once.

That's why I'm going back today.

So, don't you know, in all this spare time I have, I am in charge of the first-year trial competition. It's a tradition here at this school, where we give the first years who have had no evidence or advocacy or anything that is remotely necessary for preparing an adequate trial the opportunity to go ahead and do it anyway.

And I am in charge of the whole damn thing. I don't know why this happens to me, where I am always the one to pick up the slack. Am I trying to impress someone? Am I a control freak? Do I want all the little first-years to think I'm really cool or, alternatively, hate me for doing this to them?

I'm actually not doing anything to them, as this competition is completely voluntary. The turnout was impressive: 74 students signed up, compared to about half that last year.

But I've had absolutely no guidance, and sometimes it pisses me off. I went to the Advocacy Guru (who happens to be on sabbatical this semester) and he basically said to do whatever I wanted, because he didn't have any copies of last year's rules or anything.

So I wrote them. I decided how this thing was going to run. I announced the introductory meeting, I went and talked to the classroom full of 74 kids, I put the teams together, I assigned them clients and trial times, and I am still in the process of harassing professors to be judges.

I don't know how I get myself into these things. It would be different if I tried. If I was one of those sneaky people who likes to be in control and therefore wheedles her way into things. But I honestly don't try to do any of this; it just happens.

Not that there aren't up-sides. I can put this on my resume, I do get to boss people around, and I myself am going to be a judge, which I think will be a lot of fun. But it's a hassle and a headache and cutting into time I don't have.

I just wish it were August tomorrow.